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Category Archives: Humor
The Newt As Prose
(h/t @Karoli)
This week, the Newtster’s campaign implosion just kept getting better. There was the Dancing Queen ringtone on his phone, his browbeating of Paul Ryan, followed by his apology to Paul Ryan. Apparently, this was all too much for his campaign spokesman, who shot off the following missive:
“The literati sent out their minions to do their bidding,” Tyler wrote. “Washington cannot tolerate threats from outsiders who might disrupt their comfortable world. The firefight started when the cowardly sensed weakness. They fired timidly at first, then the sheep not wanting to be dropped from the establishment’s cocktail party invite list unloaded their entire clip, firing without taking aim their distortions and falsehoods. Now they are left exposed by their bylines and handles. But surely they had killed him off. This is the way it always worked. A lesser person could not have survived the first few minutes of the onslaught. But out of the billowing smoke and dust of tweets and trivia emerged Gingrich, once again ready to lead those who won’t be intimated by the political elite and are ready to take on the challenges America faces.”
As over the top as it sounds, you really won’t get the true flavor of it unless you hear it performed by master thespian John Lithgow:
Brilliant. Simply magnificent. Bravo, the Gingrich.
This may have set the record for the quickest a major campaign has jumped the shark.
Poll: What’s Gingrich’s *2nd* ABBA Ringtone?
So, it has already been discovered that Newt Gingrich uses ABBA’s “Dancing Queen” as a ringtone on his phone. It went off while he was speaking, to his slight embarassment.
He also confirmed there is a second ABBA ringtone. Which of these do you think it might be?
Technically, It’s Now Illegal To Have Sex In Florida
Last week,on a sister blog, we posted about legislation being passed in Florida for the purpose of outlawing sex with animals. It now appears that the wording of the legislation they passed may have just made it illegal to have sex at all, animal or not.
Here’s the wording:
An act relating to sexual activities involving animals; creating s. 828.126, F.S.; providing definitions; prohibiting knowing sexual conduct or sexual contact with an animal; prohibiting specified related activities; providing penalties; providing that the act does not apply to certain husbandry, conformation judging, and veterinary practices; providing an effective date.
The problem, as eloquently described by the folks at Southern Fried Science, is that humans are animals.
Yup, us human beasties are right smack dab in the middle of the Animalia classification. So technically, no one on Florida can legally have sex.
Of course, Twitter has been all… well… a-Twitter about the development. Here’s my vote for the most pragmatic tweet:
Needless to say, this could be bad for Florida. Good thing it happened after Spring Break. And since the winter is mostly older folks escaping the snow, it may not have as big an impact.
This is what happens when you start horsing around with the law. People will follow like sheep, until someone screws the pooch and then everyone looks around for who they can make the goat. I don’t want to sound like a pig or come off catty, but this legislation is for the birds…
p.s. – It’s only a misdemeanor. Maybe they were just figuring out a way to write more tickets. They need the revenue.
The Fascinating Flowchart of Right Wing “Truthiness”
Did You Miss The April 26th 2011 Show? Catch The Replay 24/7!
On tonight’s show:
- Trump’s latest trek into lunacy
- Obama – A moderate Republican?
- The Catherine Ferguson Academy – a good school, and on the cutting block
- MI Sen. Bruce Caswell wants foster kids to only wear hand-me-downs.
- Britain’s Got Talent sensation Edward Reid
- Another reason not to vote for Leo for Prez 2012 – Education
Let us know what you think!
Edward Reid – Britain’s Got Talent
We featured this performance on the April, 26th 2011 show. Edward Reid is a teacher from just outside of Glasgow and has a great voice, and a unique song selection. We won’t spoil the surprise – just watch the video!
Work Ethic – A Rant, Revisited
A few years ago – seems like a lifetime ago – I wrote a blog post titled “Work Ethic – A Rant“. I had been working in Las Vegas at a casino for a few months, and was happy in my job. But I had grown tired of some of the malcontents I had to deal with every day. And I’m not talking about the customers.
The attitudes I was seeing were horrendous. People who wanted to work couldn’t because folks with more seniority would complain if they were scheduled more hours. Then the senior folks would come in and ask to leave as soon as possible. I won’t recap the details here. Just cllick the link above and you’ll see my full rant.
Now, going on six years down the line, I don’t see a whole lot of change. Perhaps some of the attitude has mellowed, mainly because people are afraid of losing their jobs and not finding another. But customer service is still a problem, both internally and externally. People not treating paying customers well, and treating co-workers even worse. And it’s in just about every industry.
In some cases, it’s the workers that are the problem. For whatever reason, they’ve become jaded and refuse to improve. In that sense, nothing has changed since 2005.
But in many cases, I have to lay the blame on the emplyer and the culture created there. In the race to maximize profits by minimizing costs, many corporate cultures have tried to fit every job, every task into tightly defined procedural cubby holes. In the process, innovation is being thrown out the window, and morale slips.
Right now I’m reading Seth Godin’s “Linchpin: Are You Indispensable?“, and while I agree with pretty much everything I’ve read so far, there is one fact he repeats that just doesn’t ring true. The basic premise of the book is that in today’s market, the only way to really protect yourself from being replaced with someone cheaper/younger/less experienced is to make yourself as irreplaceable as possible. So far, I’m with him. But then he goes onto say that if you make yourself virtually irreplaceable, and your current employer doesn’t recognize that, there are plenty of other employers that want you.
Insert sound of tires skidding on pavement.
This is where the whole thing breaks down for me, because it relies on one thing: Employers recognizing the value of an employee farther down the chain. While your immediate supervisor, and even their supervisor may recognize your work, if the company structure isn’t set up to take advantage of that, or as I’ve seen in some cases, stifles that creativity, you actually may get punished for trying to take those extra steps. At the minimum, you’ll be fighting to get things done through others who have hit that wall enough times that they just aren’t willing to bang their head against it again.
That reality is what can often kill the work ethic of even the best workers. And my experience is that there are far more of the companies that are focused on bottom line rather than creativity. Of course, it’s a “Catch-22″. If they release their workers to innovate, they actually will improve their bottom line with better products and services. But that’s not how the corporate structure is built. I’ve seen this in multi-billion dollars organizations and small Mom & Pop businesses.
I understand it. When the economy is as tough as it is now, companies are doing what they need to do to stay afloat. But that leads to a mentality of trying to to throw stuff overboard rather than right the ship. There’s only so much you can cut before you start hurting quality.
But that’s what’s happening. As to Godin’s belief that there are plenty of companies out there that want the innovators? I think there are plenty that think they do. But how many actually have a corporate climate that encourages it? Very few.
So, I think that “work ethic” is still failing. I think there are still far too many who take what they have for granted, and expect even more. But more and more, I think many employers have created a climate that encourages that feeling, rather than empower, encourage and excite their employees.
Walgreens Targeted for Pap-Smear Flash Mob | Cobweb
Health Care Walgreens Targeted for Pap-Smear Flash Mob
Posted by Josh Gross on Thu, Apr 14, 2011 at 9:38 AM
On the April 9 episode of Fox and Friends, host Brian Kilmeade said Planned Parenthood’s non-abortion services like breast exams and pap-smears weren’t necessary because women could “get [them] at Walgreens.”
Though Walgreens was quick to point out that they don’t offer either of those services, activists have already organized what is sure to be a highly entertaining piece of political theater to drive that point home: a Walgreens pap-smear flash mob.
From the event listing on Facebook …
Fox & Friends thinks we don’t need Planned Parenthood because women can just get their breast exams and pap smears at Walgreens (which is not true). Let’s prove them wrong by demanding these health services at Walgreens across the country and seeing what happens.
Here’s what to do this Saturday at noon:
1. Pick your favorite local Walgreens
2. Get a group of friends together or connect with people via this event page.
3. Go try to get your pap smear!
4. Don’t forget to bring your video cameras and share your footage on YouTube!Stephen Colbert also commented on the issue on his show this week, detailing a trip to Walgreens for his annual colonoscopy, which involved swallowing a disposable waterproof camera and having a bag boy slug him in the stomach to activate the shutter.
Tags: Steven Colbert, Walgreens, Planned Parenthood, Flash Mob, Video
Now this could be entertaining. Fox News gets it wrong far too often, but this one was bound to create some funny responses.
Watch for videos to get posted this weekend as uninformed Walgreens employees try to respond to people coming in for pap smears. Of course, I’m waiting to see a 6-foot-4 big burly guy ask for one…
http://editedforclarity.posterous.com/walgreens-targeted-for-pap-smear-flash-mob-co
John Stewart on Sarah Palin: “Petty Woman”
In her first national interview since the Tucson shootings, Sarah Palin went on Sean Hannity’s show to do some spin control. To no one’s surprise – but perhaps their disgust – Palin painted herself as the real victim, helped along by Hannity.
The Daily Show’s John Stewart didn’t miss the self-thrown pity party, and decided to give his take.
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Petty Woman | ||||
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